What inspired you to write this book about your father’s battle with cancer and your journey through grief?
I was inspired to write this book because of my dad’s incredible journey through his battle with prostate cancer and the strength and resilience he displayed throughout. My dad was always someone who gave selflessly to help others, and I want to continue his legacy by serving those who, like me, have experienced the profound loss of a loved one. His story isn’t just about his fight against cancer; it’s about the courage he showed, the love he gave, and the way he lived his life with purpose despite the challenges. I believe his legacy deserves to live on, and by sharing it, I hope to offer comfort and strength to others who are navigating their own journeys through grief.
David Hewitt, Steven’s dad
How did writing this book help you process your emotions and experiences after your father’s illness?
Writing this book was not something I planned; it emerged naturally as I navigated the later stages of my dad’s passing. Initially, I began by jotting down my emotions and thoughts, a way to process everything I was feeling. During that time, I would often sit with my dad and ask him about his life, his career, the challenges he faced, and the lessons he learned. We’d spend hours reminiscing, laughing about the funny stories, and cherishing the incredible memories we were lucky to create together.
As I wrote, I realised that these conversations and reflections held a power beyond just my own healing. They were a reminder that we are not alone in this world and that our experiences, no matter how personal, can resonate with others. I wanted to share these moments, these lessons, because I believe that many people out there need to hear them.
We all face grief at some point, and it’s easy to feel isolated in that pain. But by sharing my journey, I hope to show others that they are not alone and that there is comfort to be found in knowing that others have walked a similar path. My dad’s strength and resilience throughout his battle with cancer inspired me to continue his legacy of giving and helping others. This book is a way to honour that legacy and to reach out to those who are going through the loss of a loved one, offering them a sense of connection and understanding.
Was there a pivotal moment in your father’s illness that significantly influenced the direction of your book?
Interestingly, there wasn’t a single pivotal moment in my father’s illness that influenced the direction of my book. My dad had already written three books—two on his business in Quality Management and another about his journey through prostate cancer. His strength and resilience were well-documented in his own words, and I never initially intended to write a book myself.
It was only after his passing that I felt compelled to channel my emotions into something positive. The process of grieving made me realise that there was more to be said, more to share, and a deeper need to connect with others going through similar experiences. My dad’s legacy was already there, but I wanted to contribute to it by turning my personal journey through grief into something that could resonate with and help others.
So, the book became less about a single moment and more about the ongoing process of dealing with loss, of remembering my dad’s wisdom, and of continuing his legacy of helping others. Through this book, I aim to offer comfort and insight to those who are also navigating the pain of losing a loved one, showing that while the journey is incredibly tough, it’s one we don’t have to walk alone.
How did you handle the emotional difficulty of revisiting painful memories while writing the book?
Revisiting painful memories while writing the book was certainly challenging. There were moments when the emotions felt overwhelming, and yes, tears were shed as I relived some of the hardest times. But I always reminded myself that this book wasn’t just about me, it was about something much larger.
Focusing on the bigger picture helped me push through those difficult moments. I knew that by sharing my story, I could serve others who are going through similar experiences. My dad was always about giving and helping others, and that guided me throughout the writing process. His resilience and strength were constant reminders to keep going, even when it was tough.
In the end, it was about honouring his legacy and using my experience to connect with others who might need support or comfort. It wasn’t easy, but keeping that purpose in mind made all the difference.
How did your relationship with your father evolve during his illness, and how is that reflected in your writing?
My dad and I always had a fantastic relationship, but after his diagnosis with prostate cancer in September 2018, our bond deepened even further. At the time, he was living in Lytham St Annes, and I was in Culcheth. Despite the distance, I made it a point to speak with him every day, no matter what. It became a priority for me to ensure that we stayed connected, whether it was through our regular phone calls, getting together for football games, meals out, or just spending a weekend chilling together.
Steven and David on holiday which is talked about in the book
Our relationship was built on mutual support and understanding—we always had each other’s backs. That unwavering connection became even more important during his illness. We continued to share our lives, laugh at the memories, and find joy in the time we spent together despite the challenges we were facing.
This closeness is reflected in my writing. The stories I share aren’t just about my dad’s illness; they’re about the friendship and bond we had, the love that we expressed through our actions, and the way we supported each other through thick and thin. I’ll continue to share these stories for the rest of my life because they are a testament to the incredible relationship we had and the strength we drew from each other.
My writing is a way to keep his memory alive, to honour the friendship and love we shared, and to hopefully inspire others who are going through similar experiences. My dad’s legacy deserves to be shared, and I’m committed to keeping that legacy alive by telling our story.
What do you hope readers will take away from your story, both in terms of understanding grief and finding hope?
What I hope readers take away from my story is the reassurance that they are not alone in their journey through grief. Losing someone you love is incredibly difficult, but it’s important to remember that healing is possible, and you don’t have to go through it by yourself.
Grief is a deeply personal experience, and it’s okay to take the time you need to process it. While the pain of loss may never fully disappear, it can transform into a source of strength and resilience. I’ve learned that grief isn’t something you simply “get over.” Instead, it becomes a part of you, shaping who you are and how you move forward. But within that transformation, there is hope and the possibility of finding new meaning.
My story is a reminder that, even in the darkest times, there is light to be found. It’s okay to lean on others, to share your experiences, and to allow yourself to be vulnerable. By embracing the love and memories we hold dear, we can find a way to honour those we’ve lost and continue living with purpose.
I want readers to know that while grief is a challenging journey, it’s also a journey of growth, connection, and, ultimately, hope. My hope is that by sharing my story, others might find comfort, strength, and a renewed sense of optimism in their own lives. We’re all in this together, and together, we can find a way to heal and move forward.
Were there any particular authors, books, or personal experiences that inspired your approach to writing about such a deeply personal subject?
While I’ve always enjoyed reading personal development books, I wouldn’t say they directly inspired me to write about this deeply personal subject. The real inspiration came from my dad. He was the one who truly motivated me to start this book. My dad had already written three books. After his passing, I felt compelled to continue in his footsteps and share my own experiences.
This book is my way of honouring his legacy and contributing something of personal value to the world. It’s less about following in the footsteps of other authors and more about carrying forward what my dad started. My approach is deeply personal because it’s rooted in our shared experiences and the lessons he taught me. Through this book, I hope to reach others who might be going through similar challenges and offer them the same sense of support and connection that my dad gave me.
Enjoying a spot of golf
What advice would you give to others who are dealing with a similar situation and considering writing about their own experiences?
My advice for anyone dealing with a similar situation and considering writing about their experiences is to start small. Begin by journaling your feelings and sharing memories that come to mind. Writing doesn’t have to be perfect or polished right away—it’s about capturing the emotions and thoughts as they come.
Don’t be afraid to put your feelings down on paper, even if they feel raw or unrefined. Writing can be a powerful tool for processing emotions, and it can help you make sense of what you’re going through.
Ultimately, do what feels right for you. There’s no one correct way to approach this, so trust your instincts. Whether you end up writing a book, keeping a private journal, or simply jotting down thoughts occasionally, the most important thing is that it resonates with you and helps you on your journey.
What were the most positive things about self-publishing and working with TAUK Publishing?
The most positive aspects of self-publishing and working with TAUK Publishing include a deep sense of achievement. I know my dad is smiling down on me, even though I wish I could share this moment with him directly. Estelle from TAUK Publishing was superb. Her efficiency and support made the entire process a delightful experience. I’m incredibly grateful for her help.
Steven’s book is now available here.
